I shoulda known this would be from the Babylon Bee:
CDC Now Recommends Wearing A Seat Belt Even When You’re Outside The Car
ATLANTA, GA—The CDC has issued brand new recommendations regarding the wearing of seat belts. Health experts there are now recommending people wear a seat belt, even when outside the car.
When pressed regarding what gives the CDC authority to comment on seat belt usage, they clarified that these were simply recommendations based on the latest scientific research, for the sake of public health. When further asked how exactly a seat belt that's not anchored to anything can protect anyone, they replied with a statement saying "SHUT UP IT'S SCIENCE!"
Next child safety seat to keep children safe at their desks.ReplyDelete
The adult diaper was years ahead of its time…ReplyDelete
Helmets, we must all be wearing helmets for safety's sake.ReplyDelete